Hemsidan för Salome
2 months in Sweden
It's been two months since I arrived and this period I have done a lot. Every day I encounter new things and new ways of doing them. I've also learned about Swedish culture and their way of living .Their ways is much different to what I am accustomed to and it's so hard to understand the people. Since I am talkative, a lot of people think that I am crazy or drunk .I meet a lot of people everyday and when I see them sometimes they pass me like they never met me. That in south Africa will never happen but now I understand that Swedish people are shy. There's also a lot of difference in how their dating system goes, guys here in Sweden are quite and shy. They also don't take compliments well, one time I told a guy that I think he was cute then I could tell that he was uncomfortable and the next time he ran when he saw me. I also have offended a lot of people without meaning it. There was this incident in school, I told another girl that her breasts were small like mine. But it turned out to be a joke and they laughed about it. Later my sister told me that I wasn't allowed to say that to other people.When I was small growing up in South Africa, a lot of the children, people , even my school teachers used to mock me about my dark skin by calling me names like "black cat" and "monso blue"(black blue).I was always sad and didn't want to go to school, sometimes I will pray so hard to God that he'd give me a complexion so that I will be lighter but then one day when I was about 13 I read Steve Biko's speech about how being black was beautiful and since then when a lot of mock me about my dark skin I tell them that black is beautiful. That's how it's like in South Africa, we mock each other, you either laugh about it or ignore it, but here in Sweden it's the other way around .The other thing is that when I came here I thought that I would encounter some racists but so far nothing has happened and on a daily basis I meet someone who looks like me and I would forget that I'm not in Africa by saying hi in Sotho and the other person won't respond then I realise that I'm in Sweden.
I've also had the inspiration of writing a new poem and missing my family a lot. Now that I am far away from them I realised how much I appreciate and want them in my life. Most of things I miss is the noise and the campaigns of HIV/AIDS that I've been involved with before I came here. One of the things I've realised about Sweden is that you never had to think about AIDS while in South Africa is everywhere on billboards and TV commercial and here I have never heard about or seen the information about It.
During the past week one of my friend and classmate here in Sweden was diagnosed with Cancer. When I came to school she didn't tell me anything. Then she was absent from school for three days. One of those days I saw one of my friends cry but then she pushed me away while I was trying to comfort her, so I got angry and I left. The next day she came to school and all three of my friends just avoided me by always speaking Swedish all the time, so I got fed up and left them.
Then during lessons they were crying and I felt so sad so I went to try to comfort them. When I ask them what was wrong they didn't tell me so I got mad and I left them. In my culture when you cry in public it means that you want attention and to be comforted, that is why I didn't understand why they didn't stay at home and cry. I also got angry that they didn't share their sorrow with me so that I could cry with them like any friend would do. Most of all I was mad at the fact that I thought they were my best friends and I shared everything about my personal life with them and they didn't. I felt like they were pretending to be my friends while they didn't like me, so I felt betrayed. The whole week I avoided them and talked to the others instead.
The following week she told me and I was shocked! I hated myself for not understanding but then I realised that our cultures are not the same, while I make friends and trust easily, Swedish people don't. I hope she gets better and I will always keep her in my prayers. She's such a strong and brave girl.
This incident reminded me of my two best friends in South Africa who are HIV positive and living life like there's no tomorrow. To them being positive was the best thing that ever happened to them because now they live life to the fullest as there is no guarantee that they will be alive tomorrow. All of this are the reasons why I appreciate what I have and show the people around me how much I love them everyday.
Coming here has taught me a lot of things like no matter where you live, rich or poor, in a developed or developing country, that we all have battles to fight and that life is a journey. It has ups and downs. It also taught me that having problems is part of life and if you don't have problems you are not living. As for me I am learning something new and without my wonderful Swedish family who makes me smile I would have packed my bags and went back home (which I wouldn't). Except for the horrible weather and unusual food, I'm enjoying and making the most of It!!!
Salome Selamolela.